Ending of knowledge (part 2)

It’s the single most unpleasant EVENT. If I tried to end it for you and if by some miracle it is possible to do so, you’d end up hating me. You are cultured. To be without it and be an individual is most lonely experience. You won’t find any comfort and nothing can fill the […]

Please

Cooperation is needed to make Mechanism seamless. Perfection doesn’t exist which is why it is achievable. It will be achievable until it isn’t which is never because life never ends. You haven’t made the calculation I have. It took me 14 years. Don’t get in my way unless you need to do it. If you […]

Uncertainty

No one understands absolute uncertainty. Please, bitch. This is not your revered skepticism. Every single decision I make is like a betrayal of my own morality because I am making a choice despite being uncertain of everything. I can only choose one thing at a time among quadrillion of possibilities. Every single decision I make […]

A man of no faith

I try everyday but I can’t seem to acquire faith in humanity. I only have faith in goodness or at least I used to. I really don’t know. I can’t feel it anymore. I mean goodness. All I feel is plaguing sense of doubt and lack of trust. I feel disappointed. I feel like I […]

Absolute

Don’t fight my will. And consider everything fixed. I don’t have the patience to be misled or mislead anyone. I’ll educate and self-educate if you let me. No amount of convincing will prepare anyone for what I’m about to accomplish. Do not get in my way. I have absolute clarity and confidence in my will […]

Edge of insanity

What is that feeling where it feels like you’re floating in the aether with regards to the extremes of your intellectual capacity? It’s like parallel processing but worse because it’s one step or several further. You feel like you’re doing guesswork except that all your guesses are right. That’s what I feel like when I […]

Character

I can’t do this anymore. This constant questioning of my character is tiresome to defend against. I give up. Yes, I am the worst human being and what you can see is all I am. What’s next? Do I finally get to die or do I have no respite? Do I have to suffer endlessly? […]

Belief

I don’t think in terms of belief or disbelief or even non-belief. To do that you need to think. Here I’m going to use a word I haven’t in a long while: synchronization. My Thought (structure) is in sync with Consciousness. And thus mind never emerges for me. And when it does then I’m a […]