I don’t care much for the order of the world.

I don’t appropriate my coherence according to it. I cohere when there’s peace rather than nagging and buzzing intrusion of the collective unconscious. I barely ever think but feel. I don’t want to die before I finish work, re-channeling the flow of Thought so that wonderment is restored. Is that a bad thing? My ambition is far more than this but I feel broken as if I can’t do it anymore. If I feel this way permanently and inherently then I’ll fail. Indeed it’d mean there’s no reason to even try because I’d already failed. But, it’s far more complicated.

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