how we struggle with our intentions? There is this constant battle going on every time we have to deal with reality which is all of the time. I struggle with intent everyday but the struggle gives way to clarity in rare moments and these moments while they were previously very few and far between are now becoming plentiful. I paid the price for honesty and integrity with something that I’m unaware of. But, the good consequences I feel motivate me to pursue these qualities for their own sake. The struggle I’m talking about are violent thoughts where we subject others to scrutiny and judgement. This is very enticing to a mechanically functioning psyche. I have been struggling with this problem (I call it a problem because it puts all the niceness and kindness that we pursue and execute in daily life to shame in the sense that they are just constructs like all of what Language is comprised of. And all constructs are false meaning that what we care about is the essence and there is nothing essential in the conceptual and thus in Language.) for all my life. It was never to such an immense degree as it is now, especially because I have breathing room to consider alternative pathway as opposed to what I’ve been accustomed to by the default nature of Mechanism torturing biology for it’s own purposes. I now have pockets of experiences when I feel truly free of the survival Mechanism in my immediately ready and available psyche. But, through honesty and integrity (rather than the usually preferred way of the collective through discipline and infection of other’s autonomy comprising of and compromising their and ultimately our Thought structure, however unstable. All Thought structures of all psyches combined makes up the Thought. We all have bits and pieces and parts of them. There is no substantial difference in the way the collective functions as opposed to the pawn. There is only Thought and it’s the whole structure of the entirety of abstracta. We share a lot of parts which is why we can communicate to each other. Or at least we call it communication and it makes the world go around. It’s not really communication. It’s what blocks communication and instead pits us against each other by colliding the jagged edges of one’s structure against the structure in the other.) I have come to a general feeling of having made peace with my self. This feeling of peace and what I know can one day be something truly valuable like the purity of soul, drives me to pursue clarity and freedom like never before. I’ll either be free or die trying. Everything rests on it. To fix the problems of society, we don’t need the collective. Just one clear soul is enough. I want this to happen. Otherwise, I don’t give a fuck about anything because all else is just the hive mind culture. If it can’t be dissolved we’re doomed to repeat the cycle until it gets what it wants.
If for some reason you feel hurt or think that I’m employing scare tactics then you can take me to task on it. I’ll oblige and clarify or be clarified.