Edge of insanity

What is that feeling where it feels like you’re floating in the aether with regards to the extremes of your intellectual capacity? It’s like parallel processing but worse because it’s one step or several further. You feel like you’re doing guesswork except that all your guesses are right. That’s what I feel like when I recite a memorized sequence backwards. It’s not intuitive. In fact, it’s purely creative. I’ve had complete grasp of such an ability to create, before. But, I’ve never had it at all times. I’d like to have it at ALL times if I can help it. Has anyone else dealt with this problem successfully? Can anyone out there create at will? I have been unconsciously trying to acquire this ‘state’ for decades. I feel like I’m close now that I’m dealing with numbers. There’s absolutely no books on this out there. Don’t talk to me about flow states and crap. That’s absolutely bogus.

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